Healthy Relationship Check Up
The quality of our relationships affects our lives in many ways including our self-esteem, our ability to handle stress and our academic and occupational productivity. The following questionnaire can help you identify the health of the relationships that you have with others.
I am in a healthy relationship when I am able:
To relax, have fun and share mutual experiences/special times in a non-destructive way.
To be listened to understood and heard.
To say no if I don’t feel ready, comfortable or safe and not fear loosing your love or time.
To express all of my feelings in a non-destructive way and in a safe environment.
To be treated with decency and respect even when we disagree.
To feel trusted and believed.
To get recognition for my accomplishments, talents and strengths.
To be praised or acknowledged for my effort to do the right thing or make things better.
To feel supported when feeling hurt, weak or vulnerable.
To feel loved, wanted and receive affection (hug, pat on the back, etc.)
To have separate interests and activities outside of the relationship.
So think of the above list as a reference or guide to begin assessing the health of your current relationships. The above list also allows a you to pin point specific issues within your relationships that require your attention. It is not meant to be an exhaustive list but it does highlight the critical components of a healthy relationship.
So now what, what should you do if you have identified healthy characteristics that are missing in your relationships? Communicate, communicate, and communicate. It is our responsibility to tell our loved ones when we are unhappy and when our needs are not being fulfilled. The next step involves developing a plan of action that specifies how you and your loved one will improve the relationship. If you are struggling to implement the action plan or feel the process is not working, do not be afraid to seek professional help.
Dr. Shelly Jebens….Clinical Psychologist …Well…Mind Body and Spirit
